Cognitive:Students will realize that true and long-lasting love develops within the lifelong commitment of marriage and through the practice of virtues.
Affective:Students will understand that infatuation is different from true romantic love. Students will admire and want to become people of good character.
Behavioral:Students will concentrate on developing virtues in themselves.
Class Session 1:
Explain that the class will be talking about something very interesting today—romantic love.
It might be interesting to start with the Reflection [[#|Exercise]]: "Spouse Wanted." Have students call out their answers when they have done the exercise:
Reflection Exercise: “Spouse Wanted”
You are going to write a newspaper advertisement (it will never appear in the newspaper!) for the type of spouse you would want for yourself. Note what character qualities or virtues you most admire.
The Love Herald Advertisements
Spouse Wanted Must Have the Following Qualifications
After discussing the contents of the chapter, the teacher can give students the opportunity to do the exercise again, to see if they have changed their ideas of what to look for in a spouse.
Ask students if they think [[#|true love]] just comes out of the sky as an almost irresistible feeling between two people. Explain that this feeling describes infatuation, not true love. Make the point that true love is built, not born.
Guide the students to consider the logical extension of the beliefs about love shown in movies and songs. For example, help them to question, "If love is a feeling that mysteriously overwhelms a person, what happens if it occurs between two people who are married to others? Should they divorce and marry one another—hurting many family members, including children—in order to pursue their ‘feeling’? It happens in Hollywood all the time!"
Help students understand that this kind of infatuated feeling is based on deep unanswered needs in the person mixed with sexual attraction. It is very changeable, because the other person will probably not be able to fulfill the other's needs, and we can feel sexually attracted to many people over a lifetime.
Explain that real romantic love grows over time through a commitment to one another. Romance and sex are part of it—very important parts of it—but it also involves day-to-day living with someone you either like and admire for their character or you come to dislike and disrespect for their lack of good character.
Ask students for their reactions and opinions about the song "Do You Love Me?" in their student books. (It would be great to play a recording of this or to show the clip of the song from the movie Fiddler on the Roof.)
"Do You Love Me?"
A surprising love song about romance in marriage occurs in the movie and play Fiddler on the Roof.
Tevye and his wife Golde have been married for twenty-five years. Their marriage was arranged by their parents. They met for the first time on their wedding day!
After all these years of being together, Tevye asks Golde, "Do You Love Me?"
(Golde) Do I what?
(Tevye) Do you love me?
(Golde) Do I love you?
With our daughters getting married
And this trouble in the town
You're upset, you're worn out
Go inside, go lie down!
Maybe it's indigestion
(Tevye) Golde, I'm asking you a question…Do you love me?
(Golde) You're a fool!
(Tevye) I know. … But do you love me?
(Golde) Do I love you?
For twenty-five years I've washed your clothes
Cooked your meals, cleaned your house
Given you children, milked the cow
After twenty-five years, why talk about love right now?
(Tevye) Golde, the first time I met you
Was on our wedding day.
I was scared.
(Golde) I was shy.
(Tevye) I was nervous.
(Golde) So was I.
(Tevye) But my father and my mother
Said we'd learn to love each other,
And now I'm asking, Golde,
Do you love me?
(Golde) I'm your wife. …
(Tevye) I know. But do you love me?
(Golde) Do I love him?
For twenty-five years I've lived with him
Fought with him, starved with him
Twenty-five years, my bed is his
If that's not love, what is?
(Tevye—joyfully) Then you love me?
(Golde) I suppose I do.
(Tevye) And I suppose I love you too.
(Both) It doesn't change a thing,
But even so,
After twenty-five years
It's nice to know.
Sheldon Harnick, Lyrics, "Do You Love Me?" Fiddler on the Roof, Mirisch Productions, Inc., and Cartier Production, Inc., Released by United Artists Corporation, MGM/UA, Home Entertainment Group, Inc., 1971.
Explain that this is a song about true romantic love that has grown over a lifetime of serving one another and their family—working hard and facing life's trials together responsibly. Real, lasting love is built over a lifetime of such investment.
Ask students to do the Exercise: "Famous Romances" for fun and tell what they know about these well-known romantic partners. Ask if the love depicted in these stories or movies was true, romantic love or not.
Exercise: “Famous Romances”
Can you match these famous romantic partners to one another? Draw lines to connect the couples.
Cleopatra ........................... Robin Hood
Juliet .....................................Prince Albert
Beatrice ............................... Rhett Butler
Queen ..................................Victoria Dante
Scarlett O'Hara ...................Antony
Maid Marian ........................Romeo
[The famous couples are: Cleopatra and Antony, Romeo and Juliet, Beatrice and Dante, Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler, Maid Marian and Robin Hood.]
Class Session 2:
Start the class by asking students to name popular love songs they have heard and have them repeat or sing some of the lyrics. This should be amusing!
Explain how these lyrics point to love as a mysterious feeling, hard to define, hard to control, that seems more related to good luck than anything else. But that's not the whole story on true love.
Direct students' attention to the section in their books "Romantic Love and Virtues of Good Character".
Point out that the text says that couples who divorce one another often say that they lost respect for their partner because of the spouse's character.
Help the students recognize that, strange as it may seem, virtues play a big part in lasting romantic love. Long-lasting love is not so mysterious after all. It is the fruit of good character. The virtues of the spouses will determine whether they love each other truly and for a long time—or not.
Mention that many people who have experienced a broken relationship say things like, if given a second chance, they would have been more patient, kind, faithful or understanding. This shows they know that virtues could have saved their relationships.
The section points out that people who are altruistic in general—people who care about others, not just those of the opposite sex to whom they are attracted—have long-lasting romantic marriages. So, caring for others—elders, the sick, neighbors, children, relatives, and friends—develops a heart of virtue in a person that will make him or her a good romantic partner for life.
Have students fill out the Questions for Reflection in their student books:
Questions for Reflection
1. How would you define true romantic love?
2. What is the difference between true romantic love and infatuation?
3. Some people ridicule romantic love, saying it's simply a product of the imagination. What do you think?
4. In general, how is romantic love portrayed in the media?
5. How does romance develop in a marriage relationship?
6. What do virtues and good character have to do with romantic love in marriage?
7. What are some ways you can develop altruism now, so as to enjoy romance later in life?
Have students do the "Spouse Wanted" ad once more and compare their own answers to what they wanted before going through the chapter.
Objectives
Cognitive: Students will realize that true and long-lasting love develops within the lifelong commitment of marriage and through the practice of virtues.
Affective: Students will understand that infatuation is different from true romantic love. Students will admire and want to become people of good character.
Behavioral: Students will concentrate on developing virtues in themselves.
Class Session 1:
Explain that the class will be talking about something very interesting today—romantic love.
It might be interesting to start with the Reflection [[#|Exercise]]: "Spouse Wanted." Have students call out their answers when they have done the exercise:
Reflection Exercise: “Spouse Wanted”
You are going to write a newspaper advertisement (it will never appear in the newspaper!) for the type of spouse you would want for yourself. Note what character qualities or virtues you most admire.
The Love Herald
Advertisements
Spouse Wanted
Must Have the Following Qualifications
After discussing the contents of the chapter, the teacher can give students the opportunity to do the exercise again, to see if they have changed their ideas of what to look for in a spouse.
Ask students if they think [[#|true love]] just comes out of the sky as an almost irresistible feeling between two people. Explain that this feeling describes infatuation, not true love. Make the point that true love is built, not born.
Guide the students to consider the logical extension of the beliefs about love shown in movies and songs. For example, help them to question, "If love is a feeling that mysteriously overwhelms a person, what happens if it occurs between two people who are married to others? Should they divorce and marry one another—hurting many family members, including children—in order to pursue their ‘feeling’? It happens in Hollywood all the time!"
Help students understand that this kind of infatuated feeling is based on deep unanswered needs in the person mixed with sexual attraction. It is very changeable, because the other person will probably not be able to fulfill the other's needs, and we can feel sexually attracted to many people over a lifetime.
Explain that real romantic love grows over time through a commitment to one another. Romance and sex are part of it—very important parts of it—but it also involves day-to-day living with someone you either like and admire for their character or you come to dislike and disrespect for their lack of good character.
Ask students for their reactions and opinions about the song "Do You Love Me?" in their student books. (It would be great to play a recording of this or to show the clip of the song from the movie Fiddler on the Roof.)
"Do You Love Me?"
A surprising love song about romance in marriage occurs in the movie and play Fiddler on the Roof.
Tevye and his wife Golde have been married for twenty-five years. Their marriage was arranged by their parents. They met for the first time on their wedding day!
After all these years of being together, Tevye asks Golde, "Do You Love Me?"
(Golde) Do I what?
(Tevye) Do you love me?
(Golde) Do I love you?
With our daughters getting married
And this trouble in the town
You're upset, you're worn out
Go inside, go lie down!
Maybe it's indigestion
(Tevye) Golde, I'm asking you a question…Do you love me?
(Golde) You're a fool!
(Tevye) I know. … But do you love me?
(Golde) Do I love you?
For twenty-five years I've washed your clothes
Cooked your meals, cleaned your house
Given you children, milked the cow
After twenty-five years, why talk about love right now?
(Tevye) Golde, the first time I met you
Was on our wedding day.
I was scared.
(Golde) I was shy.
(Tevye) I was nervous.
(Golde) So was I.
(Tevye) But my father and my mother
Said we'd learn to love each other,
And now I'm asking, Golde,
Do you love me?
(Golde) I'm your wife. …
(Tevye) I know. But do you love me?
(Golde) Do I love him?
For twenty-five years I've lived with him
Fought with him, starved with him
Twenty-five years, my bed is his
If that's not love, what is?
(Tevye—joyfully) Then you love me?
(Golde) I suppose I do.
(Tevye) And I suppose I love you too.
(Both) It doesn't change a thing,
But even so,
After twenty-five years
It's nice to know.
Sheldon Harnick, Lyrics, "Do You Love Me?" Fiddler on the Roof, Mirisch Productions, Inc., and Cartier Production, Inc., Released by United Artists Corporation, MGM/UA, Home Entertainment Group, Inc., 1971.
Explain that this is a song about true romantic love that has grown over a lifetime of serving one another and their family—working hard and facing life's trials together responsibly. Real, lasting love is built over a lifetime of such investment.
Ask students to do the Exercise: "Famous Romances" for fun and tell what they know about these well-known romantic partners. Ask if the love depicted in these stories or movies was true, romantic love or not.
Exercise: “Famous Romances”
Can you match these famous romantic partners to one another? Draw lines to connect the couples.
Cleopatra ........................... Robin Hood
Juliet .....................................Prince Albert
Beatrice ............................... Rhett Butler
Queen ..................................Victoria Dante
Scarlett O'Hara ...................Antony
Maid Marian ........................Romeo
[The famous couples are: Cleopatra and Antony, Romeo and Juliet, Beatrice and Dante, Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler, Maid Marian and Robin Hood.]
Class Session 2:
Start the class by asking students to name popular love songs they have heard and have them repeat or sing some of the lyrics. This should be amusing!
Explain how these lyrics point to love as a mysterious feeling, hard to define, hard to control, that seems more related to good luck than anything else. But that's not the whole story on true love.
Direct students' attention to the section in their books "Romantic Love and Virtues of Good Character".
Point out that the text says that couples who divorce one another often say that they lost respect for their partner because of the spouse's character.
Help the students recognize that, strange as it may seem, virtues play a big part in lasting romantic love. Long-lasting love is not so mysterious after all. It is the fruit of good character. The virtues of the spouses will determine whether they love each other truly and for a long time—or not.
Mention that many people who have experienced a broken relationship say things like, if given a second chance, they would have been more patient, kind, faithful or understanding. This shows they know that virtues could have saved their relationships.
The section points out that people who are altruistic in general—people who care about others, not just those of the opposite sex to whom they are attracted—have long-lasting romantic marriages. So, caring for others—elders, the sick, neighbors, children, relatives, and friends—develops a heart of virtue in a person that will make him or her a good romantic partner for life.
Have students fill out the Questions for Reflection in their student books:
Questions for Reflection
1. How would you define true romantic love?
2. What is the difference between true romantic love and infatuation?
3. Some people ridicule romantic love, saying it's simply a product of the imagination. What do you think?
4. In general, how is romantic love portrayed in the media?
5. How does romance develop in a marriage relationship?
6. What do virtues and good character have to do with romantic love in marriage?
7. What are some ways you can develop altruism now, so as to enjoy romance later in life?
Have students do the "Spouse Wanted" ad once more and compare their own answers to what they wanted before going through the chapter.